Assurance
by Legendary Armor
Summary: [Rufus x Reno] The paranoia of possibly losing all you hold dear can drive you mad, but the care of the one you cherish can save your sanity. Post AC, oneshot.


**Assurance**

by the Legendary Armor

* * *

He wondered often now if he appreciated things enough.

He had never been a man to really embrace the idea of epiphanies, or any spiritual ideas, but now he certainly couldn't deny their existence. And after all he'd seen... and his realization of what he'd _done_, how much suffering he'd caused... and coming so close to death so many times...

It... paralyzed him, in a way.

He could keep moving on, of course--he was the President, he was the shining beacon of strength and power to the citizens of Edge. His Geostigma was cured, and the Planet was recovering, and the people were rebuilding, but somehow, something in Rufus... had broken.

His thoughts when he was alone at night, after a day of work, were scattered and paranoid. In the comfort of his own home, it felt as if the darkness were closing in on him... as if at any moment, his life could be stolen away. The man had never wanted to appreciate anything like this, and for this very reason, but now... now he felt like he truly had _reason_ to live, and the fear of losing anything in his perfect world kept his sleep restless and filled with nightmares.

Last night had been no exception to that.

_--Reno smiled, cocky, even as blood poured from the corners of his ridiculous grin. "C'mon. That the best ya got? No way're ya gonna get to my boss with a pansy hit like that." The Turk gripped his stunner in his left hand, and as he raised it to strike, the silhoutte of an enemy struck through with a knife from nowhere... right to Reno's heart. _

_Crimson--_

_Crimson..._

_Everywhere..._

_...Reno's blood..._

Perhaps the nightmares were finally beginning to take their toll on the blond. His pale eyes were clouded this morning, and dark circles sat faintly under his eyes. Ignoring these physical giveaways, he kept his ever-present expression of authority and control, completely cool and calculating as he walked out of the elevator and towards his office.

Somehow, as he sat down, willing away the weariness in his body, he felt a slight hint of dread as he looked at his paperwork, at his phone... thinking negatively once again. Even now, the paranoia, the anxiety, was trying to follow him while he was working... Work. He'd work all day, repetitive, boring tasks, and then go home, alone, to brood in fear. Again. The cycle would continue... unbroken...

He picked up a pen, closing his eyes for a moment to assure himself and regain his composure... when loud footsteps broke the silence in his office. One of his Turks--the only one casual enough to just waltz in so rudely without even knocking, of course--bounced into the room, his always expressive face revealing cheerfulness.

"Yo, sir! I saw you come in this morning and I had to get here early for a meeting in a while, so I thought I'd stop by and see what's up."

...Composure. That was his greatest defense, and he certainly needed it now. He turned to face Reno, his pale eyes locking with the redhead's. "I'm fine, Reno. Is there anything I can help you with?"

The Turk frowned. "Yeah, actually, why d'you look like ya didn't sleep last night? You feelin' well? I'll go get the doctors if ya want--"

"No." The reply came sharply--too sharply. He was failing... he needed to keep his cool. "No, Reno, that's fine. I simply didn't sleep well last night. I assure you I'm alright." He could already tell by the analyzing look on the other's face that the Turk wasn't completely buying the story. Why? Had he known Rufus so long he could see through a simple lie?

"Sir... I've seen ya lookin' like this for awhile now. You haven't been sleepin' well for a long time... not just last night. Right?" He crossed his arms, and without waiting for a reply, asked, "Why?"

Rufus' eyes narrowed slightly. He could only lie himself out of this situation--there was no other option. No matter... how much that tiny part of him _wanted_ to tell Reno everything, because somehow... it seemed salvation from his fears might be found in the redhead's embrace... he couldn't. He was the President, and emotions like that were a weakness that could be exploited, a weakness that would only add to his fears. "It's nothing," he replied after a moment. "Perhaps a bit of insomnia."

Reno pulled up a chair. "Boss... don't mean to be disrespectful, but I can tell you're lyin' to me. Come on. Let's talk. I promise you can trust me! I won't tell anyone." He reached out for a moment, but then pulled his hand back. "C'mon, sir, you gotta open up to someone, right? It's not a weakness to feel. Especially if you tell me! How's it gonna hurt if I know, huh?"

_Damn it, stop... talking. _The words... so convincing. That look in the Turk's eyes, almost like begging... He swore inwardly at himself as he turned away. "Reno, I have work to do. I'm afraid I don't have time for this." He paused. The President of Shinra was not supposed to have inner conflicts. He was not supposed to hesitate or have doubts.

"If I need you... I'll call you. Will that put you at ease?"

The Turk seemed all at once pleased and disappointed. "Sure thing, yo. I'll catch ya later, sir, if that's alright. Don't wanna be late for the meeting."

His echoing footsteps faded as the President began his long day of paperwork... continuing that cycle in his mind. Even as he finished so many hours later, and once again entered the darkness of his house... he could feel that tension clawing at his heart, making it flutter and hurt.

But he tried to ignore it, as always. As he finally pulled the blankets of his bed over his body and tried to close his eyes, the images of last night came back to him... his nightmares promising to give him another hellish ride tonight. How much longer could he take it...?

Lying there in the darkness, he came to a realization that added further weight to his already strained heart: he was falling to pieces despite his best efforts. Outside, he was the same calm and collected Rufus Shinra at work, but alone, here...

He glanced at the clock on the nightstand. 2:45 AM... The blond reached out and picked up his cellphone, opening it and letting its dim light illuminate the dark room. He hesitated again, but only for a moment._ The President does not hesitate._ He opened his list of personal contacts--a surprisingly short list, but this was his personal phone. He selected the one he'd been thinking of all night, and hit the green button... the ringing in his ear put him slightly at ease, even moreso when a sleepy voice answered.

"Sir? Ya doin' alright...?"

He cleared his throat. "Reno, I need you to come to my residence right away."

The suddenly eager agreement was the first of many things to come that would finally put his heart at ease...

* * *

(end)


End file.
